::forgive:: / Saturday, April 28, 2007
that better be my motto for the whole year, that hasn't been going very well for me right now.
forgive and forget. you know it's very difficult for a scorpio like me, who harbours REALLY bad, really deep grudges.
oh, maybe you don't know. that's why i have to forgive and forget. or else, i would have gone like mad, screwed, heated up. and might just tear down the whole building.
and the world would come to a halt, because of a raging scorpio.
nah! but seriously, if i do bear grudges, i wouldn't know myself anymore. i mean, people would be different and so on. i guess i do quite a good job nowadays seeing what's going on in my life right now.
the going ons: people irritating and aggravating me. and thus so, i do the same back to them. i freak myself alot nowadays. and i freak myself out because of one big reason:
tears.
i used to be someone who wouldn't cry. bottle everything inside. and once it's
breakpoint i would start crying like real bad. 1-2 hours. secretly.
but now, i even cry in
school. oh yeah sure, nobody ever KNOWS. nobody really notices. i remembered crying during pe and during morning assembly. for whatever reasons i don't know.
now, i cry to myself like every minute. as if every minute i live is unbearable. which, it isn't.
at least that's what i tell myself. hahaa. i guess you are probably thinking i'm gaining sympathy from you all. but that's not my intention. i never did want sympathy. probably a little more attention. a little bit of understanding. because right till now, i realised, nobody has ever understood me before.
i freaked myself out the other day. because i started calling myself "freak" and "loser" and started feeling suicidal. and i seriously cried, because i never did want to end my life.
however painful and cold it could be sometimes.
because, i have always believed that, however cruel and unfeeling the world might be, people were put in here to give warmth and bring laughter to certain people.
and i am someone that will, someday, bright up the life of someone i care for.
(:
/ihopped at
11:39 PM
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